Sex research and reality of the life
Finnish research professor Osmo Kontula has made sex research called Desire & Passion (Halu & intohimo). This research tells us that what kind of people are in 2000 centuries. Osmo Kontula has made researches about this subject since 1970 and has published his book (Desire & passion: knowledge of Finnish sex) in year 2008. I have italicised Osmo Kontula's text from his book (Desire & passion: knowledge of Finnish sex) that this writing is easier to follow. I have translated Osmo Kontula's text from his book for Finnish to English. I follow also teaching of the Bible about behaviour of the last days people.
Incompetence and inability
Kontula : Men and women desires are far apart one another, and result of this is that sexual intercourse lessening and masturbation begins to replacing lovemaking, which is lacking in relationship. Women are suffering orgasm difficulties twice as much as men are suffering erection disorders and twenty year old women have difficulties obtain orgasm. Kontula thought that problems are in busy lifestyle and need of control, which are reasons that people have difficulties dedicating themselves under the passion.
2 Tim 3:
2 Timothy 3 tell about features
of people in the last days, and it tells us also reasons for nowadays sex
problems. Last days of mankind are perilous and difficult times, because
people are then under many negative features, because they love sin and reject
the will of God.
People in the last days are lovers of themselves, conceited and full of them own ego. As result of those features in the last days people is lacking to face needs of other people, because they are slaves of their own lusts and needs. For this reason they try desperate fill theirs lusts and needs only concentrating themselves. Naturally, this means that they can't face needs of their partners and spouses, because they see their own needs more important as their spouses and partners. They are incompetent to give love to their spouses in a way that his/her spouse or partner could undergo enjoyable sexual experience. Of course not in all relationships in the last days is not sex problems, but according to the Bible it is however very big and large problem in the last days. The Bible says that in the last days many people are incompetence to health, enjoyable and loving sex life.
Incompetent to natural affection
2 Tim 3:3 are words without natural affection, which is in Greek one word astorgos, which means without natural affection and unloving. God's word proves that the last days people have sex problems, they live without natural affection. To natural affection belongs satisfying sex life. Many people in the last days lacked this ability. Lacking of affection, enjoyment and affection in sex life lead to problems in sex life. Women orgasm problems are resulting about it that men are incapable to satisfy their wives. Same many women are suffering orgasm problems because of the wrong picture about sex, which current society has drawn to people. Nowadays description about sex life is emphasized totally in wrong ways. This wrong emphasizing of sex drives men and women to incorrect sexual performance pressures and anxieties, in which they are often incapable to practise sex in a right way. About sex has come selfish people passion and as mechanical performance and through these things they try to achieve the big satisfaction, from which everybody talks, but very rare women have experienced. Sex is not mechanical performance, but gentle loving between a man and woman, in which both think the best of other and not his/her selfish needs. In sex life of the marriage, the best result has reached then when both think one another and notice needs of their spouse. Lack of orgasm of a woman begins usually about ordinary life, where a man through his selfish behaviour breaks sensitive emotional life of a woman. For this reason woman have not energy to burst into flames of love. Sexuality of a woman has been built deeper than sexuality of a man. Woman needs noticing in ordinary life in a way that her husband participates in common things in domestic works. Many sex problems are ordinary life problems, where usually men don't take care of their duty in family life. When those ordinary life problems are taken care of, result of it is better sex life.
Lovers of pleasures
2 Tim3:4 is words lovers of pleasures, which is in Greek philedonos, which means lover of pleasure. Philedonos comes from words philos and hedone. Original meaning of hedone word was such which, please sense of taste. Gradually, meaning of hedone expanded to mean everyting where is connected pleasures and what pleased senses. In the Hellenistic era greeks wisdom teachers gave to hedone word meanings as pleasure of sense, sexual pleasure and uncontrollable passion. In Paul letter word philedonos has meaning, which describes sins of sex lusts and the last days people are under of many lusts of sinful sex.
The problem of many last days people is unrestrained passion and desire to experience such where they are incapable, but what they most of all want. This unrestrained passion is desiring to experience "ecstasy" of sex, but they are incapable to experience real, gentle and right kinds of sex life. Because of their incompetence they are chasing desperately satisfaction to their lusts, but can't reach it. In the last days, many undergo sex problems in their relationships, but many of them don't go to get help, but turn to masturbation or cheat on their spouse. Lacking of natural affection with opposite gender drives many to gay and lesbian affairs. The last days people are carrying in their hearts distorted sexuality, because of this, they desperately try out many kinds of sexual sin activities. God has created the man and the woman, and He has given for them sex as the beautiful gift in permanent relationship (marriage) all kinds of other sex practising are sin before God, and it always breaks somehow heart of the people.
Living in separation
Kontula : most happiest couples and couples which most of all practise sex, live apart from each other.
The reason why some people have love affairs and live in separation is because of last days people selfishness and incompetence to commit permanent relationship (marriage). The last days people are selfish, and they are not interested permanent relationship, where belongs to common ordinary life and its responsibilities. The last days people are lacking of longsuffering and patient mind and ability to live with problem situations, by reason of this, they don't have ability to permanent relationship and for those reasons they favour continuously changing love affairs. Permanent relationship is the life where belongs up and down hills and all things and situations is clarified with common sense. The last days people are trained through all sins to be selfish and short temper. Those kinds of people have no ability to face reality of ordinary life, because he is lacking of consider and love in down hill phases, for this reason he sees only his selfish ego. When the down hill phase steps into his/her life, so he packs his bags and leaves. Sin has destroyed the last days people in a way that they get along with other people, when they can carry out themselves in a selfish way, if like this do not happen, they face a catastrophe and break relationship and carry on with another partner his selfish life.
Those people who have a love affair and are living in separation with each other thinks that their sex life is better, because they don't have to see their faces continuously. However, they are wrong, because their incompetence in relationship reflects also to their "free" love affairs, and they can't produce real enjoyment for a self and their partner, although they think so. Many last days people dread permanent relationship (marriage), and some say that marriage is like prison, where you have been chained to your spouse. For this reason many are jumping from love affairs to another love affair. However, actually their heart is empty, desperate, very broken, and they are acting and living by their brokenness heart.
The truth is that God has given sex to the man and the woman as beautiful gift to permanent relationship (marriage). For this reason marriage is the best place practise satisfying sex life, which gets better with in time. Because God has prepared sex life in the marriage life, so it is the best place to practise it. Sex what happens outside of the marriage is like lukewarm substitute from the reality. Sinful sex is like kiss through veil, it doesn't feel like real, but imitates it. If the man and the woman love one another thus as the Bible teach, it guarantees also satisfying sex life to both.
Healthy sex life
God created the man and the woman thus that would commit to love one another in permanent relationship. If they commit to one another, they can respect and love one another, and they can also experience satisfying sex life. When they commit to love one another in up and down hills, they have such a kind of resource in their life that it shall carry them through every kind of life situations. This commitment also loads and fill woman sensitive emotional life, which also makes her sex life enjoyable and satisfying. Commitment also leads a husband to experience enjoyable and satisfying sex life.
Unfortunately, sin and satan drives mankind in the last days to rebellion against permanent relationship (marriage), which leads them to practise sinful and abnormal sex. People in the last days broke themselves and others through sinful sex practising.
Kontula: Masturbation has increased among people relationships during recent years.
Relationships among the last days people lack ability to noticing and satisfying one another. For this reason masturbation is increased, because people are slaves of their lusts, and they have to unload their lusts somehow, and usually they masturbate, if their sex life is not in good condition. The last days people are full of sex lusts and for this reason they are doing solo sex (masturbation) very often. God not created the man and the woman to be as sex machines who practise sex all the time and for this reason we must have self-control. Masturbation is a sin against God.
Perversity and vanity
In the last days, many people
are deceived to practise and live in unnatural sex life such as gay sex and
lesbian sex. The Bible says in 2 Tim 3:3 that last days people are without
natural affection, for this reason they drift to practise sinful gay- and
Boasters and proud hearted
The Bible teaches that the last days people are boasters and proud hearted. The last days people boast also by them sex life, which is in many cases very unsatisfactory and incompetent. Usually it goes like this way, how more you boast, so you have bigger problems.
The Bible tells us why people live as slaves of sins, because satan deceived Eva and Adam in paradise. People are in snare of satan, and he has taken people into captivity, so as people are forced to do the will of satan, which is evil one. Slavery of sin and satan don't put people sins to account of satan, but people are responsible for their own sins and without repentance and believe in Jesus Christ people must go to eternal damnation. However, by repentance and believing in Jesus Christ from the grace of God people can enter eternal life.
6:11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the
wiles of the devil.
satan (evil demons) begin to build traps to the life of the people through
slavery of sin and temptations to making of sins. Evil spirits use in this
slavery person own experiences and influences of environment where he is
living and had lived. People learn in slavery of sin to choose sins and also
other people teach him to make sin. People have also wounds in their heart for
the reason of their own behaviour and for the sake of people who have wounded
them with bad things. These experiences shape their minds and more distort and
pollute their heart with sins. For the example some adult man can abuse
sexually some little boy and as result of this the heart of the little boy
distorts and his sexuality has been broken. This awful sexual abuse can lead
this little boy to homosexuality. Another example can be such kind of where
some adult teaches children to steal and for this reason from him becomes a
thief. Both examples show how sin can develop, but both sins (homosexuality
and stealing) are sins, which must repent.
Rejection of the marriage
In Greek text verse 3 is word kolyo, which means to hinder, prevent forbid, to withhold a thing from anyone, to deny or refuse one a thing. I understand and see words of Paul like thus that he meant that in the last days people are rejecting marriage and choose another way to live than marriage. In the last days people want to live in other relationship as marriage, they want to live in free relationship where they can change partner when ever they want. By this way they are practising sins of sex lusts with many partners.
Rejection of the marriage happens in many levels: common law marriage (you don't have to commit permanent relationship, but you can divorce when ever you want), continuous relationships (people continuous change their partner), rejecting marriage and speaking against marriage and so on. Marriage is God's choice to man and woman, where they can live together in permanent relationship. satan wants to destroy marriage set by God and people follow will of satan and reject the marriage in the last days. In the last days begins wild sex actions, where spouses betray their spouses in the marriage continuously and by this way they also reject holiness of the marriage. In the last days people also reject marriage between a man and woman through gay and lesbian relationships, which are sins before God. In the last days people are slaves of sex lusts, and they practise it with many sinful and pervert ways. In the word of God sex is a beautiful gift between man and woman in permanent relationship (in the marriage). All sex acts which happen outside of marriage set by God are sins against God.
The last days people right decision is repenting their sins and believe in Jesus Christ. When you have been saved from the grace of God, so you face the real values of the life (the Bible; Word of God) and the real love; love of God. Through this love your values are the right kind of, and you can live your life by the love of God in the Holy Spirit, and through this love you can live your life in a right way.
Petri Paavola from Finland